I'd like to name my first-born child Jewish just so the following conversation can take place.

"Hey, what's your name?"
"I'm Jewish."
"Uhh, that's cool, I'm Christian."
"No, I mean my name is Jewish."
"Yeah, and my name's Christian."
"....I hate my dad."

I wish the German word kampf doubled as a time indicator so when asked what time it is, I can reply with "Nine kampf!"

Upon being told I'm always two steps ahead of everyone else when I went off on a random tangent, I quipped, "Yes, but the edge of the cliff is only one step away."

The next time a girl I'm with tells me she's cumming, I'll get down and put my face in her vag, telling her, "Yeah, cum on my face, make me the dirty little whore I am!"

Would you rather be with an average girl who's dead sexy, or a gorgeous girl who's a total fish? The correct answer is an average girl who's dead sexy, if only because you can't scale fish.

I can't stop saying "Buca di Beppo" with a Mario accent.